I got a kick out of it when I heard about it in the news. I was over at my mom’s house for dinner and told her to guess who was trying to adopt a baby in the Philippines.
My poor dear mother.
She said eagerly, “You?!”
My poor mom. She has no grandchildren to call her own and she immediately thought the only logical answer to this question would be her unmarried, childless thirty year-old daughter.
Sorry, Mom, but I have been taking baby prevention pills continuously for the last thirteen years making my womb impervious to baby making. And I think adoption agencies know better than to let someone like me take home a baby. They’d run a background check on my ass and notice my numerous credit card transactions at Upper King bars one, two, or five nights a week. I’m not exactly mommy material.
Word is that nothing is a game killer at a bar on a Friday night than to have your baby sleeping in the stroller right next to your vodka soda. Babies, as cute and adorable as they are, are unwittingly little cockblockers and not exactly in my plans for my near future.
But the real answer to the riddle is: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The rumor is that there will be a new addition to the Pitt-Jolie clan, a Filipino kid. And you know they are going to pick a really cute Filipino baby, too.
Congratulations to Angie and Brad for having the Filipino baby my mother always wanted me to have!
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