As 2009 has come to a close, it's not just an end of a year, but an end of a tumultuous decade. A decade of fear, rapid advances in technological communication, and the detached human relationships that have evolved from such activities. 9/11 in 2001 started the panic and Homeland Security enforced the legitimacy of fear in 2003. We spent most of this decade searching in vain for weapons of mass destruction while George W. Bush (who I like to call, G Dub) repeatedly reminded us of the War on Terror. Terror. Terrorists. Fear. Fear mongers. War mongers.
In this decade of terror, digital communication evolved rapidly. Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, text, and e-mail use grew to enormous proportions due to our constant state of fear and the irrational need to stay connected. These tools of delayed digital communication simulate "connectedness", but in reality, only bring us further apart as we text away on our LCD screens in public places or stay glued to our computer screens in the privacy of our own homes. We now prefer quick messages instead of engaging in real time conversations with people face to face.
Even sex is curtailed and convenient. Booty calls from the 90's have disappeared and been replaced with the 2 AM mass text "Hey" and whoever answers first, wins! No more drunken drooling voicemails after a night of drinking. -My god! That's just too personal. Convenience is at its peak enabling people, like Tiger, to carry on with dozens of women in the same time frame. A commentator on CNN asked, "Where did he get all the time?" It's easy. You don't have to talk anymore; you can just mass text chicks the same heartfelt message. It saves time and minimizes actual emotional connection.
On a personal note, digital communication has resulted in "The Year of the Douche Bag." Why? Because, I don't ever take the time to have actual conversations with these people or attempt to connect to them on a personal level. I don't have to. Texting and facebook messages are so much easier and simulate that I really care. Before I know it, a year later I'm lying in bed with someone I don't really know, want to know, and have barely ever really talked to.
Anyone can make themselves witty, interesting and highly intelligent through texts. People now have the time to look shit up, re-read text messages 50 times before they press send, spell check, or ask their buddy what they should say. As a result, I plowed through douche bag after douche bag because I just didn't have enough time to get to know them. (Who has the time?)
It's the start of a fresh new decade and I hope for no more arrogant pricks, beautiful dudes that harp on the fact they're beautiful, dirty capitalists that pretend they're anti-capitalists just to go out with me, dudes that call 24 times in one night, little boys that cry (I have the voicemails to prove it.) when they don't get their way, and all other forms of trifling pieces of shit. Good-bye douches. 2009 was your year, but 2010 will not be.
What will the new decade bring? More fear? More ways to communicate in a delayed fashion? Will we become buffoons in real time conversations unable to respond in fast paced dialogue?
As a result of this menagerie of fear and quick piecemeal communication, will we all evolve into douche bags who can't communicate personally, but anxiously feel the need to communicate impersonally through outlets such as Twitter, Facebook, or whatever else comes out?
I hope, my dear friends, that the next decade will not be "The Decade of Douches." It's catchy, but not something we should shoot for. As a member of Generation X, I found the next generation, Generation Y or the Millenials, an interesting, extremely detached and unmotivated bunch, but what will we expect from the next generation coming up, the Gen Z's? All they have ever known is the easy accessibility to instant messaging, text messaging, internet communication, google, WOW, wikipedia, YouTube and cell phones.
Good luck to us all as Gen Y and Z steer us into the age of digital "connectedness".
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