Get over Yourself. You're not that Special.

After a particularly drama-filled month of relationship crimes and misdemeanors from the lives of several of my friends (women and men), I decided to give you all my own valuable advice in written form for you to cherish and ruminate over time and time again. This is part one of the two part series, Get Over Yourself. You’re not that Special.

Part 1: He’s Not an Asshole. He Just Doesn’t Like You.

IF A DUDE ACTS LIKE HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU, HE DOESN’T.

Many of you may think that my advice is based on that incredibly redundant chick lit book, He's Not That into You, but it doesn't take a neurosurgeon with a doctorate in psychology to figure out human interactions. It just takes common sense.

Women congregate all over the world to discuss, analyze, and agonize over some dude's every move. Asking each other:

What do you think it means when he doesn't call?

Why doesn't he answer my texts?

Why doesn't he make time for me in his schedule?

Why does he ignore me in public?

Why did he get a restraining order against me?

There are numerous variations to these questions, but the same answer remains. He doesn't like you.

If a dude acts like he doesn't dig you, he damn well doesn't. Period.

Men are not mysterious. They are hunters. If they want you, trust me you will know. If they do any number of things that hurt you, make you cry, make you feel unwanted, or make you feel like he doesn't care for you, then he probably doesn't.

He's not an asshole. Moreover, he's just an asshole... to you.

Same principle applies to women. I've been accused of being a raging bitch. I'm not a bitch; I just didn't like you enough to consider you when I made decisions or acted on my impulses. Simple. Sorry. It's true.

This is the important aspect of this advice: he/she may like you, but not enough if you are crying/whining about why he/she doesn't do this or doesn't do that, or does this or does that. If they are not doing things that make you feel wanted, get the fuck out of there. Fuck them! (Not literally though because that’s probably what got you in this situation in the first place.)

The important question to ask yourself is: Why the hell would you want to be with someone who gives a half ass attempt to win your affection anyway?