I’ll be viewed as an asshole for saying this and I’m not disputing that I’m a bona fide dickhead for practicing this philosophy at times, but there is nothing like strange to clear your fucking mind.
The kind of strange that’s 21 years old with a six pack, a GQ jaw line, and a very limited range of vocabulary. This isn’t the strange to leave your one and only for, but this is the strange to leave your dude for one night.
I think about all the day to day bullshit of a long term relationship.
The miscommunication:
What did you mean by that? –your significant other
Huh. I didn’t say anything. – you
Why do you always do this?! – your significant other
What? Do what? - you
Do you even care about me? –your significant other
What? What just happened? -you
The repetitive sex as interesting as brushing your teeth:
You wanna have sex? –your signficant other
Um. Sure. Why not? -you
Okay. –your significant other
(Long pause)
Oh! You mean right now? Can we wait until House is over? -you
The long boring conversations about the act of eating food:
What do you want for dinner tonight? - your significant other
I don’t know. What do you want for dinner? - you
I don’t know. What do you want? -your significant other
I don’t know. You pick. - you
No. It’s your turn. You pick. -your significant other
(This conversation will go on for another 10 minutes.)
And the other countless predictable interactions you have with the one you love. Please don’t get me wrong. When you love someone, you tolerate these banal activities with your sweetie. It’s comforting. It’s home.
But sometimes a nice piece of strange lands (literally) right into your lap. You could harmlessly be walking along and then bam! That shit slams right into you. You either pick yourself up and keep walking or let that mother fucker carry you off into the sunset (just for that night).
It’s up to you.
These occasional strange encounters have nothing to do with the person you have a life, a family, and relationship with. I stand by this: Absolutely nothing.
How can that be?
Because when it’s all over, you realize that strange doesn’t love you, won’t have a family with you, and won’t be there with you to experience life together.
Like I said: There’s nothing like strange to clear your mother fucking mind and remind you of the significance of your significant other.
Just keep it clean and don’t get caught. Or you might lose your significant other for good depending on how forgiving and understanding he or she is.
I am on the forgiving side and understand that shit sometimes happens to all of us. If I happened to leave someone on account of a one night mistake, I was lying and just waiting for a chance to hit the door and run.
From the words of wisdom of Chris Rock: Commitment will give you a headache every now and then, but new pussy will always clear your mind.
Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
Strange- (n.) sex outside your current relationship
The rumors surrounding Tiger Woods and his speculated strange launched a discussion this morning in class about cheating.
I said matter-of-factly, “Who cares? Everybody cheats.”
This caused some classmates to attempt to decapitate me with their stares of disdain and disgust, but I stand to my previous claim: Cheating happens. I’m not saying 100 percent of the population does it, but I speculate that nearly most of the Western population, in particular, has at one point cheated.
It’s part of our fiber as a neoliberal society. Cheating on our significant other only fulfills our quest to maximize profit while minimizing expenditure.
And it’s only called cheating if you get caught. (Think about the financial scandals such as Madoff and Enron. These “cheaters” were only functioning off the principles of capitalism as their primary motivations to gain profit.)
Think about it.
I must clarify that I’m not talking about having two significant others at the very same time. Like the grandmother, who upon her dear beloved husband’s death, finds out that the son of a bitch had another family in the next town for the last 40 years. Even I can say that’s fucked up.
I’m talking about the one night strange.
This strange is like a shirt you find at the discount rack at an outlet store. It’s not quite what you want to wear every day, a little irregular at times, and definitely not like the shirt you love at home, but the key difference is that it’s NOT the shirt you have at home. So, you try it on once… or twice.
How could you pass up such a good looking piece of clothing that’s half the price of the shirt you have to maintain at home every single day? Easy and cheap! –This is what we, as neoliberalists, live for!
In the same vein, when the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund strategically prevent developing countries from improving their infrastructure and independence, this kind of exploitation is also cheating. The goal is to maximize gain while minimizing loss even if it’s at the expense of others.
Most ignore the significance of these fraudulent acts that affect millions, but instead focus on marriage infidelities, like Tiger's situation, which only affects his family.
Why are neoliberal principles acceptable in some situations and not in others? Strange… Strange, indeed.
As a neoliberal society, we want discounts. We want more, more, more. The more the better! This mentality doesn’t stop at material goods; it extends into our human relationships.
Strange is just one little part of our everyday lives that are full of manipulation for profit (commercials, branding, mass consumption, the alleged emotional comfort of inanimate objects, and materialism).
Likewise, discount pussy means more pussy at a lower rate than the old original pussy you’ve used over and over again. New pussy gain with as little personal investment as possible is like venture capitalism if you think about it.
Getting something for nothing (or nearly nothing) makes you the biggest player (neoliberal capitalist) on the block.
Nothing strange about that, folks. Look around you.
I said matter-of-factly, “Who cares? Everybody cheats.”
This caused some classmates to attempt to decapitate me with their stares of disdain and disgust, but I stand to my previous claim: Cheating happens. I’m not saying 100 percent of the population does it, but I speculate that nearly most of the Western population, in particular, has at one point cheated.
It’s part of our fiber as a neoliberal society. Cheating on our significant other only fulfills our quest to maximize profit while minimizing expenditure.
And it’s only called cheating if you get caught. (Think about the financial scandals such as Madoff and Enron. These “cheaters” were only functioning off the principles of capitalism as their primary motivations to gain profit.)
Think about it.
I must clarify that I’m not talking about having two significant others at the very same time. Like the grandmother, who upon her dear beloved husband’s death, finds out that the son of a bitch had another family in the next town for the last 40 years. Even I can say that’s fucked up.
I’m talking about the one night strange.
This strange is like a shirt you find at the discount rack at an outlet store. It’s not quite what you want to wear every day, a little irregular at times, and definitely not like the shirt you love at home, but the key difference is that it’s NOT the shirt you have at home. So, you try it on once… or twice.
How could you pass up such a good looking piece of clothing that’s half the price of the shirt you have to maintain at home every single day? Easy and cheap! –This is what we, as neoliberalists, live for!
In the same vein, when the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund strategically prevent developing countries from improving their infrastructure and independence, this kind of exploitation is also cheating. The goal is to maximize gain while minimizing loss even if it’s at the expense of others.
Most ignore the significance of these fraudulent acts that affect millions, but instead focus on marriage infidelities, like Tiger's situation, which only affects his family.
Why are neoliberal principles acceptable in some situations and not in others? Strange… Strange, indeed.
As a neoliberal society, we want discounts. We want more, more, more. The more the better! This mentality doesn’t stop at material goods; it extends into our human relationships.
Strange is just one little part of our everyday lives that are full of manipulation for profit (commercials, branding, mass consumption, the alleged emotional comfort of inanimate objects, and materialism).
Likewise, discount pussy means more pussy at a lower rate than the old original pussy you’ve used over and over again. New pussy gain with as little personal investment as possible is like venture capitalism if you think about it.
Getting something for nothing (or nearly nothing) makes you the biggest player (neoliberal capitalist) on the block.
Nothing strange about that, folks. Look around you.
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